i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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