The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
