Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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