one two three fourrrrnication!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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