haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Someone came in the potted fern
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
