HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
