i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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