So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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