I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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