i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
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I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
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Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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