Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You're like the curious george of whores
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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