I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
