I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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