My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
