We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He better not be in your backpack
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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