tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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