i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.