Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me