He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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