it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
