As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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