I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
