thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize