i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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