Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
