Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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