if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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