if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
