I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
