he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
