i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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