I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
