If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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