If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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