I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
