I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
