Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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