I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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