I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
