I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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