Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
