I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
