Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
