and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
