I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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