sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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