She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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