420 ftw
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
