Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
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Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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