So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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