And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
