After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize