when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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