Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
PANTIES FOUND
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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