Acid is not a monday night drug
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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