i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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