you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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