We're facebook friends in real life
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize