Just cropdusted the office
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
