We're like a lot better than the average bears
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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